per·fect

per·fect

having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

Years ago, when my husband and I were in the midst of some marital turmoil, he confided in a friend that one of our biggest problems was that I was too “perfect”.  The way he said it was insulting rather than a compliment.  When I asked him what exactly that was supposed to mean he said “You’re good at everything and it’s annoying”.  There’s something about that statement that has resounded with me since.  It wasn’t the first time someone had given me a “compliment” like that.  In joking I’ve heard, “you’re the perfect mother”, “you’re the mother I wish I was”, “you’re so good at everything”, “you and Dave are so cute, you’re like the perfect couple”, “you put my project to shame”  Funny, these statements were meant to be compliments, but to me, they magnify all that is imperfect about me.  I think a lot of us feel this pressure partially from society, primarily from ourselves, to be perfect.  I didn’t realize my quest for perfectionism was so annoying but I know I often feel exhausted by it.  I recently posted this photo on my personal instagram & fb pages:

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Sure it was all supposed to be fun and games but it rings incredibly true.  We slap on a cool filter and display the best of us.  We rarely post the “real” us.  We talk about and post the good but not the bad and the ugly.  Sometimes I’m a rockin’ wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend but never am I close to perfect.  In fact, more times than not, I’m completely drowning here!  I know I’m not alone here and I think we should all start being a little more real with one another about it.  I don’t want to dwell on my imperfections or shortcomings but I certainly don’t want to portray a “perfect” life.  Maybe if we all started being a little more real with each other, we may be able to let go of some of the pressures that plague us daily.  This week, I shaved one leg and not the other, was late to church, got into a fight with my husband, yelled at my kids, missed the memo about 1st grade awards and didn’t show up, fed my kids absolute junk food at least 3 out of 7 days, and almost forgot to pick them up from school.  Nobody’s lunches were cut into cute shapes, the grocery store was out of organic 2% so I bought regular, and I didn’t work out once.  I did however plan a camping themed family night complete with a tent in the playroom, an obstacle course, and driveway s’mores which I posted the crap out of.  Betcha didn’t see a single photo of all the things I totally screwed up though did you?  My point?  I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, we will never be perfect.  The good news is, we don’t have to be perfect, just real and kind to one another.  Lighten up y’all, go easy on yourselves, were all in this together!

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